Merry Christmas!!

Wow, what a week this has been.

It has generally been a good week, except for today. Today kinda sucks.
We had our 'family' Christmas on Wednesday. It was the only day this week
that we could all get together. I was very happy that my son was able to make
it home. He left yesterday, as he had to work today. I feel bad for him, having
to work on Christmas, but that is part of working in a hospital. Hopefully he should
be off for the holiday next year. The youngest daughter is with her husband and
children, doing things with his family today. The other one, she and her kids are
doing things with the current boyfriend and his family.

So, that leaves nothing for today. Big meal with the family, opening presents, etc, etc,
all done already. So, now what?? Never had a Christmas day without my family here.
Well, hubby is here, but it's just Not the same. I don't like this at all!!!

He brought up the idea of going to a movie, but in this little hick town, the theater is
closed today. Took a ride around town just for the hell of it, and even the Chinese
joint is closed! It's a good thing we didn't plan on that for dinner.

I think I did well fixing my plate at xmas dinner. Hubby wanted turkey AND ham.
And of course, all of the other things that go with that. But, I only had ONE small
plate. A little bit of a few things. Didn't try everything. There was not stacking, piles,
layering or anything else going on on my plate. And, NO second helpings! Very happy
about that.

Making pea soup with ham, and turkey soup today. I just want all of the left-overs
gone. Tried sending as much stuff home with the kids as I could. We will be having
one of the soups in a little bit for dinner tonight, and some of the other one tomorrow.
The rest of whats left is going into the freezer. Will look forward to warm soup on the
long, cold winter days and nights that are coming soon.

Peeked at the scale today. Not very happy at all. I blame the fact that I didn't make
it to the gym much this week, and the eggnog I shared with my son. I believe that was
my downfall this week, that damn eggnog. And I'm sooo pissed about it because I don't
have the mindset yet to not do these stupid things. I didn't even think about what I was
doing at the time. I just drank it, like we always do. And then a little while later, that
little lite bulb went off in my head, and the voice said 'what the hell did you just do'?!?!
OMG!! Chugged water the rest of the evening after that, but still , the damage was done,
and I am Still pissed about it. Really need to work on being more mindful of what I
consume.

Still drinking lots of water. Still peeing like crazy. Just once, I would like to sleep through
the night, without having to get up to pee!

Hope everyone is having a great holiday with family and friends.
(Put the fork down!!)

Hope Santa was good to everyone!

~AL~

Moving On

Not a whole lot new going on to report.

Getting ready for the Christmas holiday. Been kinda busy with that.

I think I have joined a 'challenge'. I also think I received a badge for it in my e-mail, but I'm not sure how to get it from there to here. Still somewhat challenged with this whole blog set-up thing.

Have been on the fence about this 'challenge' for some time now, always chickening out about joining. Then I would decide to do it, and miss the deadline for entering. Then, I was given another chance, and jumped at it.

Why am I doing this now?? I suck, my life sucks, my blog sucks, and my weight loss efforts Really suck. I need help. And if there is only one thing on this list that can be fixed, I'll take it! I am hoping that will lead to the rest of the things getting better. I feel a more positive attitude these last few days. Still waiting to get some info as to what I should and shouldn't be doing though.

Still getting to the gym at least five days a week. Yay!! Had a training session again today. Feeling good from that as well. Kinda bummed though, found out that next week is my last work out with my trainer. Boy, those 12 weeks sure went by fast. He did mention maybe throwing in a free session after the holidays, just to check up on me. Yeah, I need that! And I will still be going to the gym every week after that, just as I do now. I am not making much progress at this, but I know that I would make none at all, or even back-slide the other way if I didn't go or even keep trying.

I am not a quitter! I won't give up!!

In case I don't get back at ya'll later this week, Happy Holidays to everyone!!

~AL~

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!

So, unless you have been in a cave or a comma for the last two days, I'm sure you have all heard about the tragic hostage situation/shooting at the high school in Marinette, WI.

This is where I live. Usually a quite town, about an hour north of Green Bay. On the border of Upper Michigan. On the shore of beautiful Lake Michigan.

Yes, what happened was very tragic. No, it did not effect me personally at the time. It did effect a lot of my friends and neighbors, and their families.

The story has been on Good Morning America (and I'm sure all of the other morning shows), CNN, and even Inside Edition. I am also aware of an article in the New York Times. Like I said, Everyone must know about it.

What really pissed me off today, Two Days after the incident, while on my way to the gym this morning, I passed two mobile news crews. It's only about a mile and a half drive from my house to the gym. But, SERIOUSLY!!! Why are you all still here?!?!?!

Yes, it happened Monday. Yes, school was closed on Tuesday. NO, you don't need to still be here today, on Wednesday!!

You don't need to get the reactions from the children as they go back "for the first day after this horribly tragic event"!!

What you do need to do is get the fuck out of our town!!

Our community and mainly our children need to be allowed to move on from this. We need to put this behind us, so that the healing process can begin. We can't do that as long as you are all still here dragging it up!

Please, just go away!!

We need our own people of the community to be able to grieve, and heal and move on. We can't do that with all of the cameras on us, sending this all over the U.S.

We will do this for ourselves, with each other.

For the sake of our children, please go away and leave us alone!!!!!

Been.....Lost

So I've been a little lost for the last few weeks. Well, maybe not a little. More like A LOT. In the process of finding my way back, to everything.

First things first. Unfortunately, still no movement on the scale. Guess I should be happy that at least it hasn't moved up, but that's just not good enough. It needs to be going down.

Next, my daughter had her baby. A perfect, beautiful little girl. For those of you that are my "friends" on facebook, you can pop over to my page to see the pics of her that I put up there. I wont put any on here, because it just doesn't seem right to expose her to everyone in the world, basically, who can get to this. Seems kinda creepy. I also had my almost three year old grandson over for five days and nights while she was in the hospital, and then getting settled at home. Wow, what a handful he was. lol. He has always been at my house a lot, and has spent the night here, but I have never had him for that long, all by myself. It has been twenty years since I had a little one like that for that much time all at once. I really enjoyed having him here. Sure kept me on my toes. Was sad when he left, but yet really needed a break, and enjoyed the peace and quite after he left.

Have written many posts in the last couple of weeks. Have deleted all of them. Just can't seem to get out how I really feel. Been seeing the doctor many times in the last couple weeks also. I have decided not to go into detail here. Don't want pity or any thing else from anybody. Let's just say that they found that I have a condition. Been put on very strong meds. Had my dosages upped again yesterday. Will keep getting checked to monitor the progress, or lack of. Not sure which would be better at this point. The side effects of the meds are really kicking my ass. Have already been warned that the new meds for next week are gonna be pretty wicked also. I have been informed that one of the major side effects of the new one is weight gain. Oh, goody! Just what I need. Especially now! Nurse told me I "should just roll with it". I don't fucking think so!! Talked to the doc about that. He says I can continue my work outs, and doing what I'm doing. How ever, after our little talk, we (I) decided that that isn't good enough. Starting yesterday, I have pretty much doubled my routine at the gym. I have decided to get as healthy as I can to fight off this disease as best that I can. For as long as I can. I can't keep feeling sorry for myself, which I am pretty sure I have been doing lately. Thinking that's why I have been so off track and just lost. Really threw me for a loop though.

Also, I am drinking about a gallon of water everyday. I read (thank you Allen) that this will help. Consuming LOTS of liquid seems to be a large factor in all of this. I don't count the glass of milk that I have every morning, any diet soda that I occasionally have, or any liquid in any food that I eat toward that. That is simply a whole gallon (if not more) of plain water everyday. Plus, I am still weighing and measuring and counting EVERYTHING that I eat. I am trying very hard to stay positive and focused at this point. Crossing fingers and praying that this works. Feel like I have been peeing enough for ten people at this point. Hopefully I will start to feel better soon. Or at the very least, not feel any worse.

I think I am going to post this one now. Still doesn't feel 'right', but it seems better than the other ones that I have deleted so far.

Hope everyone is doing well.

~AL~

I HAVE Questions.....I DON'T HAVE Answers

Yesterday was weigh day.
Lost one lb this week.
Finally got to move my ticker again.
Almost forgot how, it's been so long.

I have been going to a nutritionist once a week for over a month now. She has been having me track everything I eat. Between her and my trainer, and me, of course, we cannot figure out why I have not been losing any weight. For the food I eat and the work outs I do, they even think I should have been losing some weight by now. And let me say, I have written down EVERYthing that goes into my mouth. A couple of weeks ago when I was sick, I even wrote down the cough drops I had. I wrote down the sugar free gum I chewed. I honestly write down everything. When she says "eat this and don't eat that" that's exactly what I do. And then I weigh and measure everything that I do eat. She says that part of my new lifestyle is right on track. So I was sent for blood work two weeks ago, to see if there was perhaps some underlying condition for my non-existent progress. So far they have found nothing. I have to go back again next week for more extensive testing. Oh, goody!

How-ever, this week is the last time that I get to meet with the nutritionist. For now, anyway. Her position at the clinic is only part time, and she took a full time job somewhere else. So far, they have not found a replacement for her. They said they would call to let me know when they have a new person, so I can resume my sessions. But in the meantime, I have no one. Kinda upset and worried about that.

I have checked around at other places to see if one is available. They do have some at other clinics, but then I would have to pay for it. (not in my budget at this time--between the gym membership and the trainer, things are getting kinda tight right now.) She was free for me at the clinic I go to through my dr setting it up for me. They have one at the local Y, but you have to be a member there for that. I chose the gym instead of the Y for many reasons. (not going to get into those now) Guess I will patiently wait for her to be replaced......

The good news is that both the trainer and the nutritionist think that I only need to lose about fifty lbs, not the seventy-five I was looking at. But I think I would still like to see the higher number. If I can ever get the scale to move, that is. Guess I'm not as fat as I thought I was. But still......

Having mixed thoughts about the next round of testing. Would be nice to know that there is something holding up my progress, but yet it would really suck to find out that there is something wrong with me. Not really liking this line of thinking.

Still not giving up. Meeting with the trainer again tomorrow. Can't wait for him to kick my ass. I been kickin me own ass all week. I really love my new work outs. I feel amazing! I look forward to going to the gym! How crazy is that?!

And still no new baby yet. Getting kinda tired of waiting. Should be soon though. I can't wait!

Have a good night, all.

~AL~

Been Very Busy!!!

Oh, my. I've been so very busy this past week.

Got to meet with my new trainer last week. Had an amazing workout. In fact, got my ass kicked by him again today! What an awesome workout. I'm lovin' it!! Have another appointment for next week as well. I can't wait! I am so excited! And now I know other things I can work on, on the days that I go by myself.

Weigh day still sucked this week. No movement at all on the scale, again!

Been really busy the past week with my youngest daughter. She is pregnant, and due on Halloween. Went to the doctor on Monday, and he says "any day now". So, I've been put on alert. Her husband works all kinds of goofy hours, so I will probably be the one she calls when "it's time". Plus, I will be taking care of her 2 1/2 year old while she is in the hospital. She has really been making me crazy lately. I think she is somewhat of a hypochondriac. We have been to the hospital twice in the last week, and as many times to the doctor. She also calls the clinic all the time. She is so worried that something will go wrong, she is just making herself sick with worry at this point. In fact, she just called me a little while ago, (at midnight! that's why I am up now, so I thought I would do this). I will be sooo glad when that child is here, and all of this is over. She has become my new shadow. She is afraid to be alone. The only time I get to myself is in the shower, or at the gym. Otherwise, she is always here. She comes over in the morning and sometimes, depending on her hubbies schedule, she doesn't go home. Oh, I'm Really needing a break!

I should get going now. It's almost one a.m. Need to get some rest before I get another phone call. Just wanted to do a weigh day update. Hopefully next time I will have a number to put on it.

~AL~

Just For The Record.....

I really want to clear the air and set the record straight about something that has been bothering me for about two weeks now.

I came across a blog recently that I totally enjoy reading. In fact, he is on the top of my list for the ones I check most frequently, and always keep reading. I don't like to mention names on here, but I'm not sure I can ease my mind without saying his name. I try to come up with the right words to convey exactly what I want to say, without offending any one. Because that is the Last thing I would want to do. This is NOT about offending or "calling out" this person, or anybody else.

I guess I just really feel the need to explain the name of my blog. I, by no means, am not trying to copy anyone, or be like anyone else. The day I decided to stop being a chicken, and finally start me own blog, I felt like it was do or die. If I didn't do it right when I decided to, I knew I wouldn't do it at all. I had a name all picked out, and started to set it up. Then I find out that the name I wanted was already being used. I must have tried over a dozen different ones, and all were already taken. I was getting frustrated because I just wanted to get started on here. So, I finally decided to go with a nick-name that people who know me call me. But, that is because those are actually my initials. For those of you that know me, you know that. For those of you who are reading this, and don't know me, now you know it too. AL stands for the initials of my first and last name.

I realize this has gotten entirely to wordy, but that's just me. I want to get my point across. I know that I am not anybody special or important out there in blog-land. I know that this person has seen my blog, and may or may not ever see it again. Either way is fine with me. I just wanted to set the record straight. I would rather have this person "have my back" then to be "called out" for a misunderstanding.

O k. I feel a little better now.
Thanks for listening.

~AL~

P.S.
If I knew how to change the name, I would. I can't figure that out, without starting a whole new one, and I'm not gonna do that. If I ever figure out if it is possible, then I will do it. I have never really like the name anyway.

Seriously.......WTF?!?!

Weigh day up-date:
Nothing.....AGAIN!

No loss\no gain\still the same.

I just don't get it.

What do I have to do?
Is two hours a day at the gym and workouts in the pool not enough?
Should I bust my nuts at the gym for 10 hrs a day like those people on that T V show?
And consume nothing but water all day?
Then will I lose some weight?
Twenty, maybe forty lbs a week?
It works for them, maybe I should try it. Something has got to give here!

I will hopefully be back later today. There is something I feel the need to talk about, although
it has nothing to do with my travels down this shitty road.

Heading to the gym now, for all the good it's not doing me.
Talk to ya again soon.

~AL~

Were Does The Time Go?

Wow, this week sure flew right by me. Can't believe it's already Friday.

I did extra work on Tuesday. Put my time in at the gym. Then spent another two hours working out at the pool. I knew Wednesday was going to be busy, and I probably wouldn't have time to get in any kind of work out. Good thing I did. Wednesday seemed to be one change of plans after another. Busy and busier. Got back to a normal workout on Thursday. And then again today. Feels good.

My son came home for a visit today. I am soooo happy right now. He only lives about two hours away, but he has such a busy schedule with work and all, we hardly get to see much of him. In fact, he is leaving already tomorrow afternoon. He wants to get laundry and stuff done at home before he goes back to work on Sunday. They have been short handed were he works, so he has been putting in a lot of overtime. He likes the extra money, but not the part were he only gets one day off every other week. Poor thing, he is exhausted. He works at a hospital. And since they never close, he is lucky to even get that one day off right now.

I have offered my motherly services to him. Like going to his house to do some cooking and cleaning and even laundry for him. He keeps saying "no, thank you". I just want him to be able to enjoy his free time. And he needs to prove that he can take care of himself. I get that. And I will cry tomorrow when he leaves, like I always do.

I plan on going to the gym again tomorrow. And maybe on Sunday, too. Don't want to give myself a "free day" I have heard so much about. My neighbor just told me this evening that it's not good to work out when you are sick. If I listened to that, I would have been at home in bed for the last month. I have this damn cold that is going around. In fact, it has been kicking my ass for the last four weeks now. Sweating it out Does Not seem to be working! Been taking the extra vitamins and doing everything else I can think of. Nothing is working. Hopefully it will just go away Soon!!

I can't wait for next Friday. (or, maybe I can. Not sure yet, lol). I have an appointment with a personal trainer at the gym. Kinda scared of what he will put me through, but excited to learn new things and the right way to do them. I know this will really help me, so it's all good.

Gonna get going for now. Don't want to sleep in too late tomorrow morning and miss spending any time with my son.

Have a great weekend, all.

~AL~

Same Sh*t, Different Day

Weigh day up-date: Nothing.

Zero lbs lost
Zero lbs gained
Stayed the same.....again!

Went to the gym again yesterday. Stayed twice as long as usual. Did twice as much as usual. Worked at least twice as hard as usual. So, what gives?? IDK. Certainly Not the scale.

Will be going back to the gym again this afternoon. Not sure why. It's not like its working for me or anything. But, like I have said, I have nothing better to do with my time right now, so why not.

Made a really good fresh fruit salad last night for dessert. Cut up strawberries, watermelon, fresh pineapple and grapes, and just mixed it all together. Had a small serving last night, and really enjoyed it very much. Will be having some again tonight before bed.

That's about all for now.
Hope everyone is having a good Monday.
Thanks for listening.

~AL~

Going Through The Motions

Still in a fugly place right now. Not really sure what's going on. Still don't really care.

Still trying to "do the right thing", although I'm not sure why.
Been to the gym 4 times this week. Still doing seven miles between the bike (usually 3 miles) and the treadmill (usually try for 4 miles). Spent lots of time with the weight machines as well. Still trying to make friends with the elliptical (?) machine. Hasn't worked yet. Saw someone tumble off of it a while back, and get pretty messed up. Those things are big, and kinda scary to me right now, although I would like to grow a pair soon and just get on the damn thing!

Spent time at the pool several days this week as well. Usually turns into about two hours when ever I go. I just love being in the water, and the time just flies by. Do lots of laps, (no, I don't keep count) and then water aerobics. Maybe I will come back as a dolphin in my next life.

Still drinking lots of water, and eating smaller, healthier meals.

Like I said, I'm not sure why I am still doing all of this. It is Not working. I have peeked at the scale, and it's not looking good. Looks like it might stay the same again, or even a small gain (as of now). WTF!?!?!

So I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending to care, or go through the motions. I have only been doing it again this week because I have nothing better to do with my time right now. My life is boring and pathetic. In fact, I don't have much of a life at all. I have wanted to post more often, but I truly have Nothing to say. I don't go out to buy new furniture. My children are all grown up and out on their own. I don't go out to lunch, or shopping with my friends. I got nothin.

I guess I will just keep doing this till something better comes along. And hopefully it will.....
Looking forward to Mondays weigh-in. NOT!!

~AL~

Feeling Tired ...Of EVERYTHING

Today was weigh day. I knew it was gonna come to this, and soon. The scale is not my friend today. No, it doesn't hate me, but we are not friends right now. No loss this week at all. :(
No gain, either. (which I am trying to tell myself is a good thing) Stayed the same.

Did I complain to much about only losing only one lb every week? Maybe. Was it just not enough for me? Could be. Now look what I got. A big fat Zero. Serve me right?? Justice?? Karma??
IDK!

I really am just not feeling this right now. Honestly, I haven't for a while. I do know that I need to be honest with myself, and admit that I am sooo tired of pretending to care. I just can't do it anymore.

The harder I try, the worse I feel. I am Not getting anywhere with this. Beginning to think it's not worth the effort. I do All the right things - everyday. And, no, I do not work out so much that I would be gaining muscle weight at this time. I already tried to use that as an excuse, but even I can't make that one fly. I force myself to drink nothing but water all day long, every day. I feel like a damn camel most of the time. I am truly beginning to hate water, but force myself to drink it anyway. Not to mention everything else I do on a daily basis. Nothing is working.

Am tired of pretending, and trying to fool myself, and anyone else, that I can do this. If I am offending anyone in any way, I'm sorry. I do this for myself, and I need to be completely honest for my own sake. This is really hard. And I'm not stupid. I knew it would be. Guess I'm just not as strong as I need to be, or have enough willpower to make this journey.

Very disappointed in myself, and Not liking myself very much right now.
Not sure how to fix this.
Not even sure I want to try.....

~AL~

Life Is A PRIZE!

Dear Friends,

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:

Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.

However, this prize has rules, just like any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules would be:

Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.

You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

You may only spend it.

Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for the day.

The second set of rules:

The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, its over, the game is over!

It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?

Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love, right?

Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY This GAME Is REALITY!

Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can't seem to see it.

The MAGICAL BANK Is TIME!

Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time.....Without Warning!

So, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about that, and always think of this:

Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and Enjoy Life!

Here's wishing you a wonderfully beautiful day!

Start Spending!!

~AL~

Not Sure What's Going On.....

I have been reading my regular blogs for the past several days, and I gotta say, I really don't know what the heck is going on out in blogland. There seems to be an awful lot of hatefulness going on. And I have to say: I Don't like it! People leaving nasty, hateful, disrespecting comments all over the place. Most of them hiding behind being anonymous. That really bugs me. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!! I guess maybe that's why I have been reluctant to post anything these last few days, but then I thought how lucky I am to only have a few people (that I know of) that follow me. And then I thought about how I do this for only myself, and I still need to do it, no matter who is out there. So, here I am.

Monday was weigh day again. And once again, one more pound gone! Up to 7 now. YAY!! Still kinda bummed about the slooow progress here. I am really an instant-gratification kinda person, and this is starting to Not work for me! It is getting extremely discouraging to work sooo hard at everything all week and keep seeing only one lb every week. Other than not eating at all, and working out ten hrs a day, I don't know what else to try. I know, I know. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. And all those other things. I really am trying to hang in there, but with this slow process, it sure isn't easy. Keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping next week will be better. I will Not give up! Failure is Not an option!!

Been super busy all week doing all kinds of crazy family stuff. Really hoping to find more time this week to get on here again. I really miss this when I don't get to do it. I need to make more time for this, because I Need to do this.

Have a healthy and happy rest of your week, friends!
:)

~AL~

Slow And Steady

I didn't get a chance to post on Monday, weigh-day, but I did weigh. I lost one more pound this week. Pleased with that, but yet feel like it should be more. O k, maybe not 'should' be more, but just wishful thinking that it 'would' or 'could' be more. I know, I know...don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that other crap. Really, I am Very thankful that it went down again. And also Very thankful that it didn't go up at all, or even stay the same. Actually, for me, even this amount of progress is Amazing!! And, yes, I know...if I want more, I have to give more. Try harder.....Still a work in progress. Every day is a challenge, sometimes--no--most times it is an all out battle. But I am determined to win the battles, and eventually win the whole damn war!

I noticed the other day that I have another "follower". That's Awesome! I'm up to four now. I know it isn't anything compared to how many a lot of other bloggers have, and that's perfectly fine with me. I don't do this for attention or anything else, I do this for ME. And so far it seems to be working, so I will be doing everything in my power to keep on keepin on. And I do want to say "Welcome" to All of you. Thank you for taking the time to "follow" me. It so warms my heart to know that even a few people care, and are there for support. Thank you all sooo much.

In the last few days, I have noticed many people I know already starting to worry about the upcoming holiday season, now that Labor day has past. They are making 'plans' as to 'what and what not' to do as far as food and exercise to navigate their way through from Thanksgiving to the New Year without gaining any weight back. WOW!! REALLY?!?! I mean, c'mon now! Don't get me wrong here. I do realize that this posses a challenge for most of us, but it's only....what...a five or six week span of time?! SERIOUSLY!!! What about the other FORTY SIX weeks in the year?!?! Truly, I am more concerned with the time between New Years and Thanksgiving!! I pray everyday that I am able to at least get this whole thing somewhat under control by holiday time, so that I do as little damage as possible to myself, and my self esteem in those few short weeks. I know it is easy to say it now, but I would like to believe that even if I stumble during that time, I still will be able to repair any damage done. I plan to stay on tract through it all. I know it wont be easy, but hopefully I wont beat myself up after for any wrong doings during. I know I will just have to work that much harder in January. And that's o k. Bring it on! lol

Been losing a lot of sleep over this whole water thing. I have been managing to drink plenty, but it seems to be getting me up Several times during the night to 'dispose' of the water. Even when I drink the majority of it early in the day. What's up with that? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from drinking all the water I can. Water is my friend now, and I Won't give it up now. Not for anything. But still, a Little more sleep would be good. Gotta work on getting the two (water and sleep) to get along.

That's about all for now.
Have a super rest of your week, friends.

~AL~

Good Bye Summer. I'll Miss You.....

Wow, this week has just flown by. I can't believe it's already Friday.

I'm not really looking forward to this weekend. Labor Day weekend always makes me sad. It signals the end of summer. :( I live in northeast Wisconsin. Winters are Long & harsh here. We get such a short summer as it is, I just hate to see it go. The last two winters, we have set new record breaking snowfall amounts. It's crazy. In fact, I hate it here. Just sooo tired of all the snow and the bitter cold. I/we would love to move. Many factors are stopping us. First of all, now is not really an ideal time to try to sell a house. And we are not sure where we would want to move to. Also, I'm not sure I want to 'start over' at this point in my life.

But, then again, that might be just what I need right now. My life seems to be in such a rut right now. I feel so bored and restless, and so many other not good things. Mid-life crisis?? No, I don't think so. Just feeling very lost right now. Been trying to find myself. So far, it's not working. I don't even know where to look. I do know that seeing the scale going in the down direction is a great feeling. So glad that is on my side right now, cuz it's all I got.

I'd like to say that I'm just bummed because summer is gone, and winter is coming, but I'm pretty sure it's more then that. This has been on-going for a while now. But, thankfully this free therapy is helping. I am learning new things about myself. Hopefully I will be able to figure things out soon, before I drive myself totaly crazy. lol

Eating has gone pretty well the last few days. Drinking my water, even as we speek. Yay! I'm going to be trying extra hard to continue to do well thru the weekend. I Really want to do well on Monday--weigh day. (fingers are crossed)

Wishing everyone has a safe and happy weekend.
:)
Thanks for reading, friends.

~AL~

Another One Bites The Dust.........YAY!!!!!

Today was weigh day again. One more pound gone, forever!! YAY!!

Actually, I'm kind of surprised by the loss. But yet, oh so happy for it. It has been a very stressful couple of days around here. Been trying really hard with the eating part of this. For the most part, making better choices (kinda hard when you have to cook for and feed a family that want what they want), and definitely eating smaller portions. I think that is making a big difference for me, the portion control.

Haven't really gotten to much exercise in the last few days. Pretty bummed about that. I know it makes me feel better in sooo many ways, when I can get some exercise in. Gotta try harder to work on that. Hopefully in a few days when things start to settle down around here.

Also ReAlLy need to work on drinking my water. It's NOT that hard!! Why can't I seem to be able to drink my water these last few days?! I really need to work on that--NO, I need to just DO IT!!! I miss my water, darn it! Hang on, I'm gonna go get some right now!...............AH, MUCH BETTER!! :)

I had a doctor appointment recently. I learned that a person should actually be drinking half of their weight in ounces of water everyday. So, if you weigh 200 lbs, you should drink 100 oz of water per day. Interesting. Most of the time, well, if its a good day, I actually get close to where I should be. Happy about that. And will continue to work on doing it EVERY day.

Going to go drink more water now!
Have a great rest of the week friends! :)

~AL~

A Sad Day

This is a sad day for my family today.

Found out this morning that my 2 1/2 year old grandson's father died.

Can't honestly say that I'm sad for the asshole. That fucker (sorry) was a useless piece of shit and a sorry excuse for a parent.

My heart is broken for the child that will grow up with that emptiness. He doesn't understand now, but someday he will.

I am Very thankful that my daughter got out of that situation when she did.

Asshole was drunk driving at about 3:30 this morning and went off the road. Flipped the car, killing himself and some poor girl that was also in the vehicle. I feel bad for their families. Sadly, this was Not the first time he drove drunk. He wrapped his pickup truck around a tree about a year ago, and walked away from that. About two months ago, got busted for drunk driving. Didn't even have a valid license now. We know of at least two other times he drove drunk with his son in the car. To bad we found out after the fact and couldn't do anything about it. There was probably more, I am just not aware of it at this time.

I feel bad for my daughter, she is hurting too. For herself and her son. At one point, she did care for him. I can't say she loved him, because I don't know, but I would think so. I guess he turned into more of an ass after the child was born. They were together for a while, although I'm not sure how long. But not long after he was born. Thankfully she is married to someone else now. Their anniversary is on Halloween. Ironically, the birth of their first child is due on the same day. He has been a pretty good step-dad so far. I really need to see him step up to the plate now and be a Real dad for his "son". My daughter and her son really need that from him right now. I am Very worried about her and the baby right now. She is very stressed from all of this, and has not had an easy pregnancy so far as it is. Hopefully things will be good and they can be a normal, happy family when the new baby comes in two months.

Gonna get going now. Gotta try to rest. Been Very stressed today. Sure I wont sleep much, but resting is better than nothing. Going to a 3rd birthday party for my granddaughter (from my other daughter) tomorrow. Going to be a whole big family thing. Not sure how well that's gonna go, after today. Will try to make it good for her. She deserves a great party. Keeping my fingers crossed and still saying my prayers.

God bless all my friends and family.
I love you.

~AL~

Not A Bad Day

Today was o k. Not a really good day, but not completely bad either. I guess it is what we make it, right? I think I really need to start having better, more positive people in my life. That sure would help in a lot of ways.

I think I finally got my lap-top straightened out. I take it with me when we are out on the road, and for about the last month or so, it has been acting all crazy on me, and I haven't been able to use it. Turns out it was my anti-virus protector acting up. Last summer I got a virus on here. I ended up having to take it in to get fixed, as it shut down my entire system. $200 and eight days later I finally got it back. They were to also install a new anti-virus thing. So, turns out, they did put one on here. A cheap version that they charged me full price for the better version that I was told I was getting, and this one only lasted a year. About a month ago it expired. Luckily the system notified me when I turned on the lap-top, otherwise I would not have know. They told me it was good for two years when they installed it. LIARS!! But, anyway, I went to the website and bought the best one that they offer. The one I Thought I already had. I proceeded to do the download (as there are new updates). Everything seemed to be fine. I finished what I was doing and shut it down. The next time I tried to use it, it would not work. It would not let me do anything on here. Talk about frustrating! So, after countless hours on the phone with customer service, I Finally got someone who not only speaks English, but understood my problem and was able to help me fix it. Turns out that the crappy one and the new one are some how not compatible. One would not recognize the other, and they were both fighting the system to keep the other one (and me) out. I don't understand how all of that works, but I am vary thankful that it's fixed now. That's why I was trying to update this from my phone. That, and I don't always have a lot of time to drag this out and try to get service (Damn AT&T) and do things on here like I would like to. Hopefully that won't be an issue anymore. :)

Food was pretty decent today. Made some good choices and smaller portions. Also got in some exercise. Not nearly as much as I would have liked to, but some. Better than none. Will work on that again tomorrow.

Having some issues with the scale, but I'm sure it's not what you would think. You see, we keep the scale in the bathroom. The bathroom has carpeting in it. It's just that cheap, thin, indoor-outdoor crap. Came with the house. I Hate it! Would love to RIP it out and put tile down, but haven't had the time or the money. So yesterday I moved the scale to vacuum the carpet. I do it all the time. BIG mistake. It is WAY off now. From when I weighed yesterday morning till this morning, it says I gained 34 lbs. WTH?!?! Why couldn't it say I lost that much?! lol So now I have to try to find "the spot" again. Will for sure be working on that before weigh day on Monday.

Gotta get goin for now. Busy day tomorrow.
Hope everyone is well.
~AL~

I'm Still Here!!!

Have so much to say, don't really know where to start.

First of all, sooo thankful to finally be home. Got back a few days ago from the almost month long -never-ending-trip from hell. Anything that could have possibly gone wrong, did. I'm not even going to get into all of that, so, lets just say--IT WAS BAD!!!

Good and bad news: first, I did not lose any weight the whole time I was gone. Pretty disappointed with that. Lord knows I tried EXTRA hard. Cut way back on portion sizes, and also made much better choices. Also, drank nothing but water. A ton of water. Sure did pee a lot. But then again, didn't get in much exercise. I really tried, but it's hard being couped up in that damn truck 24-7! The good news? I stayed the same!! Didn't lose, but didn't gain either. For me, that's amazing! I guess I'm o k with that.

Today was my weigh day. I lost 1 pound in the few days we have been home. Excited about that. Hopefully I can keep that going. Really need the mental boost right about now.

I did figure out how to get to my blog on my phone. I tried several times to update while I was gone. Stupid thing. All I can seem to do on my phone is put in a new title. It wouldn't let me write a new post. Or maybe I just wasn't doing it right. I don't know.

That's about all I have for now. Things in general in my life are not in a good place right now, and I'm working hard on trying to make everything better. I was always told: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. So, I'm just gonna go for now. Not feeling the need to spread my bad mood.

Sure hope everyone else is doing great.
Hope to be back again soon. I sure did miss this.
Take care friends,
~AL~

I Don't Even Know What To Call This One.....

Well, first off, I am down one more lb this week. I would like to have seen a bigger number, but I guess as long as it's not a gain, it's still a good number. Have been under a tremendous amount of stress lately, and I have heard that stress causes weight gain, so I suppose that I must still be doing something right with my weight loss efforts.

I am very upset and stressed out about my employment situation. Originally, hubby and I decided that I would stay home for a couple of reasons. First of all, I was just completely miserable being in the truck. Being there is the main reason for my weight gain, and inability to have healthy food choices. And secondly, our mileage kept falling. They were unable to get many good loads, there-for many of us drivers were not making any money. We only get paid for the miles we drive. We don't make any money waiting for them to find us a load, or anything else when the truck is not moving. They have apparently acquired some new accounts, which should mean the ability to get us all some more miles. Since I have been unable to find other employment at this time, hubby has asked me to get back in the truck and give it another try. I have been asked to give it three months. If things do not work out in that time, I am free to do what I want at that time.

I am so Not happy about this. Damn economy! There aren't any jobs anywhere. We really do need the money, so I have to do this. Sure hope it works out better this time. Sounds like we will be leaving Friday-ish. I have a lot of things I need to do and to take care of before I leave. It's going to be a busy next couple of days.

I am also upset about the fact that I will not be able to weigh regularly. We would usually be gone for two to three weeks at a time. I will weigh again before we leave, and then every time we get home. I was considering just not doing the whole blog thing anymore, because I really wanted to try to be more consistent, (not that that has been working real well for me lately), but I still need to keep myself accountable. Now more than ever. I don't know when I will be able to weigh or blog from now on, but I do know that it will be every chance I get. Like I said, I need to do this now more than ever. I need to do this for ME.

I have figured out how to get to all of the blogs that I read, on my phone. I can get to mine, too, but I can't seem to find how to post something new to it. If I get that straitened out, I could update that way, but still not a new weight number till I get home and get on the scale. I know from experience that I will not have much time or opportunity to pull out my laptop and do anything on here, but I will try. I know I'm gonna miss this.

Till we meet again, God bless you all. I will be back as soon as I can, and I am hoping it will be with good news.

~AL~

Looking For Louise

Wow, this week has really gotten away from me. Last Monday was my first weigh-in. I guess it went o k. I lost one pound. That is about what I was expecting, since I have been sick, and drinking all that juice. I'm just thrilled that I didn't gain. Still got the darn cough, and still sleeping with the vapor steam thingy every night. It's been over two weeks now, I was really hoping to feel better by now. Hoping for another loss for tomorrows weigh. Even another small one would be nice. At this point I would even take a zero, as long as it's not a gian.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring. Have been trying not to obsess about the scale. Been doing my best with the food and exercise this last week, but other then that, it has been a rough week. I have been thinking about what to write for this post (when I would finally find the time to do it, that is). Many thoughts have crossed my mind. Lets just say that things are not going well here right now. I have decided not to write about it at this time. I wrote that title for today, because I feel like Thelma and Louise. I just want to get in the car and drive off the cliff right now. I don't want to get into detail, because I don't want pitty from anyone. How-ever, I will ask that you pray for me. Please. I really need to find a job asap. I know it will not solve all of our problems, but it sure would help. And I know that it would help me feel better about myself, too.

Once again, I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back on here to give any updates. But I will weigh tomorrow, and put it up as soon as I have a chance to. God bless you all.

AL

It's Been A Good Day

Today has been a good day. I really don't know what else to say. Not sure how everyone out here seems to have so much to say everyday. Day after day. Don't get me wrong, I am happy they can do that. I wish I could. I must just have a boring life right now. I really don't have that much to say. Well, I guess it is what it is, and that's o k. Some day I'll get a life, and then I'll have something to say. lol

Spent today with my seven year old granddaughter. Had a lot of fun with her. We made rice krispie treats for dessert tonight. Oh boy. Has been a challenge, but I have only had One Small piece. Happy about that. And I will be sending her home with the rest of them tomorrow. Will be happy when that is not in my house anymore.

Also, hubby will be home tomorrow. He should be here for a few days. That will also be challenging. We are usually pretty busy trying to get things done, not sure how much time I will get for myself to get in some good exercise. I know that is something that I need to work on. Starting tomorrow, I will get my first chance to work on that. Also, not sure how good or bad the food consumption will be, either. Will be working on that as well. I feel like I almost have a head start on these things now, just by being aware of the potential problems I will have.

I also don't know how much time I will have to post during the next few days. I know I will still weigh on Monday. I will keep track of that. I am hoping it goes well. I'm not expecting much, but even just a little will help keep me motivated. I am an instant-gratification girl. I need to see that what I am working on so hard Is working. I guess I need to be acknowledged by the scale to keep me going on what I know I need to do. Make sense? Yeah, I think so.

I will be back here as soon and as often as I can over the next few days. Maybe wont get a chance again till he leaves. Will have to wait and see how it will go. I'll do what I can. I will certainly updated everything when I have time. I think it will always be like this when he is here. That is o k. I will deal with that. But mostly need to make time for exercise and good food choices first and foremost. Posting will be the next thing in line, not the first. That is the way it should be, right? Right.

Guess that's about all for now. Be back when I can.
See ya soon kids! Have a super great day!
~AL~ :)

It's Been One Of Those Days.....

This is going to be a short one today. I wasn't going to even post today, but I missed yesterday, and I didn't want to Not post again today. Really need to stay on track with this.

Did well today with food. Completely in control. Feeling really good about that. (At least for today, hopefully I'll get a long streak going). Did awesome again with the water. It's a good thing I'm really learning to like it. Sure helps when it's ice cold. And I got in a whole bunch of exercise today, too. Way more than I've been getting all week. Sooo happy I'm finally starting to feel better. Not a hundred percent yet, but definitely better. :)

Don't really have anything else to report for today. Well, nothing good anyway. Having some issues with a certain person who shall remain nameless. Had an awesome day till this evening when the sh*t hit the fan. Just sooo tired of all the drama and the b s. It Really needs to stop! O k, I guess I need to do a little venting. Sorry. And NO, it is NOT hubby. He actually stuck up for me. And not because he felt obligated (because he is the hubby), but because he knew I was right. If I had been wrong, he would have been the First one to tell me. I try real hard to be a good person, and not to be a hater, but some people sure don't make that easy to do. I don't know what else to say. Just trying to get past the hurt, so that I can get some rest and a good nights sleep. Really need to clear my head. WOW! This really is like therapy, and it's free, too! Don't get much better than that.

O k, so, for the most part this was a very good day. :) Three good things for me today: food, water and exercise. YAY!! Can't ask for more than that. I am very thankful.

Have a super great day!!
~AL~ :)

Scary Finish To A Good Day

Woke up feeling better again today. Today has been -for the most part-a good day. Only had a little bit of juice today, and lots more water. That's always a good thing. Haven't had my chocolate milk fix for three days now. Milk seems to make me more congested, so I stayed away from it. Really missing it though. Might have a little bit tomorrow morning.

I'm thinking that the vicks steam thingy is really helping. Seem to be getting some better rest these last couple of nights, leading to better days. Ate pretty good today. Had lots of water. Got in a little bit more exercise today than yesterday. Even got some laundry and house work done. Feeling good about today. Hopefully it continues into tomorrow.

Just came up from the basement shortly before I started this post. We were hit with some pretty severe weather this evening. We got the whole thing tonight. Heavy down pouring rain, 60 mph winds, hail, tornado not far from here, and dangerous lightening. Luckily we didn't lose power like many others around here. I think that is the first time that I ever had to go down to the basement for bad weather. I can't even describe how scared I was. I am really beginning to not like being home alone. I know that it would not have been as scary if hubby was here.

Gonna make this short tonight. Pretty wore out from the storm. Finally starting to relax a bit now. Got some freaky looking cloud pictures, but I haven't figured out how to get pics on here yet. Have a project for this weekend now. I need to get a plastic bin of some sort, with a lid, to put supplies in, in case of more bad weather. I can't believe I've never done that before. I should be ashamed. You should have seen me running around like a crazy woman getting candles and lighters and flashlights and water. Making a list of things to get together and keep handy.

Have a super great day!!
~AL~ :)

A Little Better Today

Woke up feeling a bit better today. Still coughing and sneezing a lot, but the sinus pressure seems to be subsiding. Had the vicks vapo steam thingy running in the bedroom last night. I think it helped me get more rest, resulting in my feeling better today. :) Going to run it again tonight. Kinda seemed a little silly last night--the air conditioner going in the window, and the steam thingy going on the dresser. I think they might have canceled each other out a bit, cuz it really didn't seem as cool in there as it usually is. It has been very muggy here recently. Gotta run the air, or wouldn't get any sleep at all. Very thankful for that.

Changed things up a bit today. Still drinking lots of juice, but tried to cut back some. My body is really missing all the water it usually gets. Yesterday was all juice, today I tried to even it out with half the juice and a lot more water. Still needing the extra vitamins to kick this cold, but wanting my water, too. And I am not really liking all the extra calories that come with the juice. Felt up to running some errands today. Felt good to be out doing things today. So unlike yesterday. Stopped at the supermarket on my way home today. Needed to pick up a few fresh things for the house. They had green grapes on sale for $1.39 lb. Good deal. Picked up a big bunch of those! Can't wait to have some for snack later!

I find it to be a big challenge for me to go grocery shopping. Since I am home alone most of the time now, it is hard for me to shop and cook for one person. I am used to doing it for 5 or more people. I used to enjoy cooking for my family. I don't want to cook dinner for one in the micro-wave. Although that would make things easier, I know it is not the answer. It is just not healthy. And even that gets pricey, too. When I find out that hubby will be coming home, I go and get fresh stuff to make him a good home cooked meal. But I find it difficult to cook for just me. I don't want to buy to much stuff when I go to the store, because it goes bad before I can eat it all. So, then I feel like I should consume it just so that it doesn't go to waste. So then it goes to my waste. I see that this is one more item on the list of things I need to work on.

I see that Tammy was right. This really is very therapeutic. I have learned something new about myself everyday since I have started this. YAY!! That's really gonna help!

I got in a little exercise today. Walked twice for 15 mins each today. Not much, but better than the last two days, so I'm o k with that. That seems to be about the limit right now before the crazy coughing starts up again. My throat is getting kinda sore from all of that. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.

Gonna go get ready to have my grape snack now. Yummy! Then hit the hay with my steam thingy. Praying to get some good rest tonight, leading to an even better day tomorrow.

Have a super great day!!
~AL~ :)

About The Same.....

Feeling about the same today as yesterday. I guess that's good news, at least I haven't gotten any worse. Still a lot of coughing and sneezing and the runny nose thing going on.

This morning I did record my starting number from the scale. It is up just a smidg from where I have been hovering, but that doesn't surprise me. I didn't get much water in at all yesterday. Had LOTS of juice instead. Doing pretty much the same today. Trying to get extra vitamins in to help kick this darn cold. Think I might be doing that for the next couple of days, till I feel better. So I guess I shouldn't be to surprised next week when the scale is not kind to me. At least I know what I'll be in for.

The exercise these last couple of days hasn't been much at all really. I just don't feel good. I tried to do some stuff, and I get light headed and dizzy right away. I also broke out in a cold sweat. So I got some more juice and headed for the couch. Have to say, I am feeling a little better just resting. I don't want to make myself any sicker right now, so I'm just going to take it easy for the next few days, till I feel better. Then I am really going to get this thing going full force! I can't wait!

I am a firm believer in karma. So I have been pondering a thought all day.....Why did I get sick now? I mean, just when I was getting my determination and my willpower and all my other ducks lined up to do this life changing thing for myself.......WHY AM I SICK NOW?!?! SERIOUSLY......WHAT GIVES?!?! Why am I being derailed before I even got started? I see this as not being a good sign. I might be a little of course right now, but as soon as I'm able, I'll be back fighting the fight!! I'm gonna buckle my seat belt, because I know this will be a long and bumpy ride. I already bought my ticket, damn it, and I'm gonna get on!

Have a super great day!!
~ AL~ :)

Still Not So Good.....

Still sick and getting sicker. Woke up this morning to find that my head cold has now spread into my chest. Lots of coughing going on.

But I do have some good news that I am excited about. Thanks to some help from my "new friends", I have finally gotten my "ticker" posted. I have decided that I would like to lose between 75 to 100 lbs. I had my ticker set at 100, but changed it to 75. It is less intimidating and seems more obtainable for now. I have not set an exact goal weight. I am hoping I will figure that out as I get closer to it. I have also decided that I cannot post how much I weigh now. Only my doctor and I know that number. I'm sorry, but I feel the need to keep it that way, well, for now anyway. I know that I would become completely unhinged if anyone found out the real number. It's not THAT terrible, but yet I feel it's still not that good. And I fear that at some point my hubby or children or even someone I know might find my blog. I would just die from embarrassment. Maybe that is exactly the kick in the pants I need to get me going on this, but not right now. I'm not ready for that.

So I have decided that Mondays will be weigh days. That way it will help keep me more accountable over the weekend. Since I just started this a few days ago, I will weigh tomorrow (as my starting point) and go from there. Hopefully in eight days from now I will see it moving down. Or actually up on the ticker.

I do have one bad habit that I would like to break. I have become obsessed with the scale. We keep it in the bathroom, and I find myself stepping on it every time I go in there. From the time I get up in the morning till I go to bed at night. In fact, the other day I was just walking by the bathroom and found myself going in there just to weigh. Now that's bad! I thought about putting it in the closet or somewhere else, but I know myself. I would just keep taking it out and doing the same thing. I need to find the will~power to stop doing that and just say NO! In fact, I need to find a lot of will~power for many things. Alas, that is why I am here doing this.

Well, I'm gonna get going now. Need to get over to the Wal~mart and pick up some more meds, and tissues, and juice, and cough drops, and I think I better go write this stuff down, or I'm gonna forget half of what I need to get. LOL

Have a super great day!!
~AL~ :)

Not Feelin' It Today.....

I'm tired. Didn't sleep well last night and woke up today with a massive head cold and a sore throat. Basically just feel like sh*t today. But I am here anyway because I am trying to keep myself motivated. No, more truthfully, I need to GET myself motivated.

That is one of the reasons why I started this blog in the first place. I need to make myself accountable for my actions, but I also need to find my motivation. I have been trying for a couple of months now to come up with some goals that I would like to achieve. Sadly, I don't have any. I have read many other blogs and I've seen the goals people set for themselves. I cannot relate to any of them and I have none of my own.

I don't want to go on rides at the amusement park. I get nauseated just watching them go around. I don't aspire to ride in a sports car. Been there-done that. I had a friend in high school that would always take me for rides in his corvette. He even let me drive it a few times. We went to the movies a couple of weeks ago, and I fit comfortably into the small seat.

There are so many other things that I have read about, and I could go on all day listing them. But it all comes back to the same thing. Nothing applies to me. I don't know. I know I need to find my own, but still........I got nothin'.

Until next time, AL

Getting It All Out (Well, Most Of It Anyway)

Hello. My name is AL and I'm a foodaholic.
I recently turned 43 yrs old. (ouch!) I am married, and we have three children. We also have three grandchildren with a fourth one coming this fall.
I never really had any issues with my weight until I became pregnant the first time. It all went down hill after that. I had all three kids in less than two and a half yrs. My poor body never came back from that. I have been fighting this for a long time now. (My children are 23, 24, & 25 yrs old!)
Over the years I have lost a few pounds here & there. But some how I always seem to find them again. I have gained 40 lbs in the last two yrs. Thirty of that is from this last year alone. I would like to say "I don't know how that could have happened!" But some how, I don't think that would be a true statement. In fact, I know exactly how it happened.
Let me just back up for a moment to get you up to speed. For the last several years, up until a year ago this past March, I had a crappy factory job. I worked the 12 hour swing shift. One week days, next week nights, then days again--etc. Add that to the hour and a half drive each way, and needless to say, I wasn't getting much sleep. In the winter it was worse. Travel time was pretty much double. By the time I got home, showered, and ate something, I was lucky to get about 4 hrs of sleep before getting up and having to do it all again. Meals needed to be something quick. Usually something frozen to pop into the micro-wave. (Always loaded with sodium) Or a bowl of cereal. (Frosted flakes has always been the only kind I'll eat.) So, with age creeping up on me, so did the pounds.
Then last March I got laid-off. I don't take it personally, 42 other people also got the boot that day (damn economy). Since I was getting unemployment, the first few weeks I just rested (much needed!). After that I knew I needed to start working on myself. Trying to figure out how to shed some lbs. Before I could even get started on that, my husbands company offered me a job. Did I tell you he is an over-the-road truck driver? They wanted me to team drive with him. (I/we did it years ago, but I had to give it up. Leaving 3 teenagers home alone turned out to be not so good of an idea. That's when I got my crappy job, and here we are now.)
Since the kids are all grown and gone out on their own now, I took them up on the job offer. I did it for just over a year. I am home now, looking for a new job (and praying everyday that I find one SOON). But the whole time I was out there, I just kept gaining weight. The downfalls of that job is that all you do is sit, (driving), eat, sleep and sit some more. There was no time for exercising, although I did try to get some walking in when I got the chance. And 90 o/o of the truck stops we went to all had fast food. Totally NOT healthy. The other 10 o/o had sit-down restaurants, also with mostly unhealthy choices.
I tried everything, and still the weight piled on. I was completely miserable in that truck. We mutually agreed that it was best if I stayed home for a while. Poor hubby thinks I am having some kind of mid-life crisis. I am just sick and tired of being fat and getting fatter! At least I hope that's all it is!
So, here I am. Been home about a month now. Tried the calorie counting thing. That didn't work for me. Can't seem to figure out the numbers for everything. I am trying to eat healthier items, plus eating less than I used to. Also, I have one glass of chocolate milk every morning. I don't drink coffee--hate it! Yuck! So I gotta have my milk! Then I drink nothing but water the rest of the day. Seem to be drinking about a gallon every day. I know that's got to be a good thing, right? But now I'm not getting much sleep again, but because I'm getting up to pee all night long. Oh well, I guess that's good too.
I think I have talked enough for now. Will discuss exercise and numbers on the scale ( and other things too, I'm sure) next time. Thank you for reading. Have a super great day!! AL

Not really sure what I'm doing yet.....

Good morning.
I have decided to start my own blog. I have been following a few others for sometime now. I am mainly doing this for myself. I have many issues going on in my life right now, and I have been keeping a journal in hopes of figuring things out for myself. So far, that is not working. I am hoping that this venture will lead me to the light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm not yet sure how I will be doing this. I might post once a day. It might be once a week, or even several times a day. I'm thinking I will just be doing what-ever feels right to me. I am kind of a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" kind of girl. So, when the mood hits, that's when I'll be posting. Basically, when I feel the need to get something off my chest.
As I go along my venture, you will learn many things about me. First of all, I tend to babble. ALOT. And I also jump around with my thoughts. ALOT. Hopefully I will be able to figure out other things about myself along the way. After all, that's the whole point of doing this.
Over the next few entries, I will be sharing info about myself. That will help you get to know me, and hopefully I will get to know myself through that also. And over time, I will probably repeat things I have already told you. That's just me.
I guess that's about all for now. I have some other things I need to take care of today. I will be back later to work on this some more. I'm sure I will be changing things on here as I figure them out. Right now it just looks kinda generic. Over time, I will catch on as to how all of this works. I really NEED to make this work for me.
Thank You, AL :)