Not Sure What's Going On.....

I have been reading my regular blogs for the past several days, and I gotta say, I really don't know what the heck is going on out in blogland. There seems to be an awful lot of hatefulness going on. And I have to say: I Don't like it! People leaving nasty, hateful, disrespecting comments all over the place. Most of them hiding behind being anonymous. That really bugs me. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!! I guess maybe that's why I have been reluctant to post anything these last few days, but then I thought how lucky I am to only have a few people (that I know of) that follow me. And then I thought about how I do this for only myself, and I still need to do it, no matter who is out there. So, here I am.

Monday was weigh day again. And once again, one more pound gone! Up to 7 now. YAY!! Still kinda bummed about the slooow progress here. I am really an instant-gratification kinda person, and this is starting to Not work for me! It is getting extremely discouraging to work sooo hard at everything all week and keep seeing only one lb every week. Other than not eating at all, and working out ten hrs a day, I don't know what else to try. I know, I know. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. And all those other things. I really am trying to hang in there, but with this slow process, it sure isn't easy. Keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping next week will be better. I will Not give up! Failure is Not an option!!

Been super busy all week doing all kinds of crazy family stuff. Really hoping to find more time this week to get on here again. I really miss this when I don't get to do it. I need to make more time for this, because I Need to do this.

Have a healthy and happy rest of your week, friends!
:)

~AL~

Slow And Steady

I didn't get a chance to post on Monday, weigh-day, but I did weigh. I lost one more pound this week. Pleased with that, but yet feel like it should be more. O k, maybe not 'should' be more, but just wishful thinking that it 'would' or 'could' be more. I know, I know...don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that other crap. Really, I am Very thankful that it went down again. And also Very thankful that it didn't go up at all, or even stay the same. Actually, for me, even this amount of progress is Amazing!! And, yes, I know...if I want more, I have to give more. Try harder.....Still a work in progress. Every day is a challenge, sometimes--no--most times it is an all out battle. But I am determined to win the battles, and eventually win the whole damn war!

I noticed the other day that I have another "follower". That's Awesome! I'm up to four now. I know it isn't anything compared to how many a lot of other bloggers have, and that's perfectly fine with me. I don't do this for attention or anything else, I do this for ME. And so far it seems to be working, so I will be doing everything in my power to keep on keepin on. And I do want to say "Welcome" to All of you. Thank you for taking the time to "follow" me. It so warms my heart to know that even a few people care, and are there for support. Thank you all sooo much.

In the last few days, I have noticed many people I know already starting to worry about the upcoming holiday season, now that Labor day has past. They are making 'plans' as to 'what and what not' to do as far as food and exercise to navigate their way through from Thanksgiving to the New Year without gaining any weight back. WOW!! REALLY?!?! I mean, c'mon now! Don't get me wrong here. I do realize that this posses a challenge for most of us, but it's only....what...a five or six week span of time?! SERIOUSLY!!! What about the other FORTY SIX weeks in the year?!?! Truly, I am more concerned with the time between New Years and Thanksgiving!! I pray everyday that I am able to at least get this whole thing somewhat under control by holiday time, so that I do as little damage as possible to myself, and my self esteem in those few short weeks. I know it is easy to say it now, but I would like to believe that even if I stumble during that time, I still will be able to repair any damage done. I plan to stay on tract through it all. I know it wont be easy, but hopefully I wont beat myself up after for any wrong doings during. I know I will just have to work that much harder in January. And that's o k. Bring it on! lol

Been losing a lot of sleep over this whole water thing. I have been managing to drink plenty, but it seems to be getting me up Several times during the night to 'dispose' of the water. Even when I drink the majority of it early in the day. What's up with that? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from drinking all the water I can. Water is my friend now, and I Won't give it up now. Not for anything. But still, a Little more sleep would be good. Gotta work on getting the two (water and sleep) to get along.

That's about all for now.
Have a super rest of your week, friends.

~AL~

Good Bye Summer. I'll Miss You.....

Wow, this week has just flown by. I can't believe it's already Friday.

I'm not really looking forward to this weekend. Labor Day weekend always makes me sad. It signals the end of summer. :( I live in northeast Wisconsin. Winters are Long & harsh here. We get such a short summer as it is, I just hate to see it go. The last two winters, we have set new record breaking snowfall amounts. It's crazy. In fact, I hate it here. Just sooo tired of all the snow and the bitter cold. I/we would love to move. Many factors are stopping us. First of all, now is not really an ideal time to try to sell a house. And we are not sure where we would want to move to. Also, I'm not sure I want to 'start over' at this point in my life.

But, then again, that might be just what I need right now. My life seems to be in such a rut right now. I feel so bored and restless, and so many other not good things. Mid-life crisis?? No, I don't think so. Just feeling very lost right now. Been trying to find myself. So far, it's not working. I don't even know where to look. I do know that seeing the scale going in the down direction is a great feeling. So glad that is on my side right now, cuz it's all I got.

I'd like to say that I'm just bummed because summer is gone, and winter is coming, but I'm pretty sure it's more then that. This has been on-going for a while now. But, thankfully this free therapy is helping. I am learning new things about myself. Hopefully I will be able to figure things out soon, before I drive myself totaly crazy. lol

Eating has gone pretty well the last few days. Drinking my water, even as we speek. Yay! I'm going to be trying extra hard to continue to do well thru the weekend. I Really want to do well on Monday--weigh day. (fingers are crossed)

Wishing everyone has a safe and happy weekend.
:)
Thanks for reading, friends.

~AL~

Another One Bites The Dust.........YAY!!!!!

Today was weigh day again. One more pound gone, forever!! YAY!!

Actually, I'm kind of surprised by the loss. But yet, oh so happy for it. It has been a very stressful couple of days around here. Been trying really hard with the eating part of this. For the most part, making better choices (kinda hard when you have to cook for and feed a family that want what they want), and definitely eating smaller portions. I think that is making a big difference for me, the portion control.

Haven't really gotten to much exercise in the last few days. Pretty bummed about that. I know it makes me feel better in sooo many ways, when I can get some exercise in. Gotta try harder to work on that. Hopefully in a few days when things start to settle down around here.

Also ReAlLy need to work on drinking my water. It's NOT that hard!! Why can't I seem to be able to drink my water these last few days?! I really need to work on that--NO, I need to just DO IT!!! I miss my water, darn it! Hang on, I'm gonna go get some right now!...............AH, MUCH BETTER!! :)

I had a doctor appointment recently. I learned that a person should actually be drinking half of their weight in ounces of water everyday. So, if you weigh 200 lbs, you should drink 100 oz of water per day. Interesting. Most of the time, well, if its a good day, I actually get close to where I should be. Happy about that. And will continue to work on doing it EVERY day.

Going to go drink more water now!
Have a great rest of the week friends! :)

~AL~

A Sad Day

This is a sad day for my family today.

Found out this morning that my 2 1/2 year old grandson's father died.

Can't honestly say that I'm sad for the asshole. That fucker (sorry) was a useless piece of shit and a sorry excuse for a parent.

My heart is broken for the child that will grow up with that emptiness. He doesn't understand now, but someday he will.

I am Very thankful that my daughter got out of that situation when she did.

Asshole was drunk driving at about 3:30 this morning and went off the road. Flipped the car, killing himself and some poor girl that was also in the vehicle. I feel bad for their families. Sadly, this was Not the first time he drove drunk. He wrapped his pickup truck around a tree about a year ago, and walked away from that. About two months ago, got busted for drunk driving. Didn't even have a valid license now. We know of at least two other times he drove drunk with his son in the car. To bad we found out after the fact and couldn't do anything about it. There was probably more, I am just not aware of it at this time.

I feel bad for my daughter, she is hurting too. For herself and her son. At one point, she did care for him. I can't say she loved him, because I don't know, but I would think so. I guess he turned into more of an ass after the child was born. They were together for a while, although I'm not sure how long. But not long after he was born. Thankfully she is married to someone else now. Their anniversary is on Halloween. Ironically, the birth of their first child is due on the same day. He has been a pretty good step-dad so far. I really need to see him step up to the plate now and be a Real dad for his "son". My daughter and her son really need that from him right now. I am Very worried about her and the baby right now. She is very stressed from all of this, and has not had an easy pregnancy so far as it is. Hopefully things will be good and they can be a normal, happy family when the new baby comes in two months.

Gonna get going now. Gotta try to rest. Been Very stressed today. Sure I wont sleep much, but resting is better than nothing. Going to a 3rd birthday party for my granddaughter (from my other daughter) tomorrow. Going to be a whole big family thing. Not sure how well that's gonna go, after today. Will try to make it good for her. She deserves a great party. Keeping my fingers crossed and still saying my prayers.

God bless all my friends and family.
I love you.

~AL~

Not A Bad Day

Today was o k. Not a really good day, but not completely bad either. I guess it is what we make it, right? I think I really need to start having better, more positive people in my life. That sure would help in a lot of ways.

I think I finally got my lap-top straightened out. I take it with me when we are out on the road, and for about the last month or so, it has been acting all crazy on me, and I haven't been able to use it. Turns out it was my anti-virus protector acting up. Last summer I got a virus on here. I ended up having to take it in to get fixed, as it shut down my entire system. $200 and eight days later I finally got it back. They were to also install a new anti-virus thing. So, turns out, they did put one on here. A cheap version that they charged me full price for the better version that I was told I was getting, and this one only lasted a year. About a month ago it expired. Luckily the system notified me when I turned on the lap-top, otherwise I would not have know. They told me it was good for two years when they installed it. LIARS!! But, anyway, I went to the website and bought the best one that they offer. The one I Thought I already had. I proceeded to do the download (as there are new updates). Everything seemed to be fine. I finished what I was doing and shut it down. The next time I tried to use it, it would not work. It would not let me do anything on here. Talk about frustrating! So, after countless hours on the phone with customer service, I Finally got someone who not only speaks English, but understood my problem and was able to help me fix it. Turns out that the crappy one and the new one are some how not compatible. One would not recognize the other, and they were both fighting the system to keep the other one (and me) out. I don't understand how all of that works, but I am vary thankful that it's fixed now. That's why I was trying to update this from my phone. That, and I don't always have a lot of time to drag this out and try to get service (Damn AT&T) and do things on here like I would like to. Hopefully that won't be an issue anymore. :)

Food was pretty decent today. Made some good choices and smaller portions. Also got in some exercise. Not nearly as much as I would have liked to, but some. Better than none. Will work on that again tomorrow.

Having some issues with the scale, but I'm sure it's not what you would think. You see, we keep the scale in the bathroom. The bathroom has carpeting in it. It's just that cheap, thin, indoor-outdoor crap. Came with the house. I Hate it! Would love to RIP it out and put tile down, but haven't had the time or the money. So yesterday I moved the scale to vacuum the carpet. I do it all the time. BIG mistake. It is WAY off now. From when I weighed yesterday morning till this morning, it says I gained 34 lbs. WTH?!?! Why couldn't it say I lost that much?! lol So now I have to try to find "the spot" again. Will for sure be working on that before weigh day on Monday.

Gotta get goin for now. Busy day tomorrow.
Hope everyone is well.
~AL~

I'm Still Here!!!

Have so much to say, don't really know where to start.

First of all, sooo thankful to finally be home. Got back a few days ago from the almost month long -never-ending-trip from hell. Anything that could have possibly gone wrong, did. I'm not even going to get into all of that, so, lets just say--IT WAS BAD!!!

Good and bad news: first, I did not lose any weight the whole time I was gone. Pretty disappointed with that. Lord knows I tried EXTRA hard. Cut way back on portion sizes, and also made much better choices. Also, drank nothing but water. A ton of water. Sure did pee a lot. But then again, didn't get in much exercise. I really tried, but it's hard being couped up in that damn truck 24-7! The good news? I stayed the same!! Didn't lose, but didn't gain either. For me, that's amazing! I guess I'm o k with that.

Today was my weigh day. I lost 1 pound in the few days we have been home. Excited about that. Hopefully I can keep that going. Really need the mental boost right about now.

I did figure out how to get to my blog on my phone. I tried several times to update while I was gone. Stupid thing. All I can seem to do on my phone is put in a new title. It wouldn't let me write a new post. Or maybe I just wasn't doing it right. I don't know.

That's about all I have for now. Things in general in my life are not in a good place right now, and I'm working hard on trying to make everything better. I was always told: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. So, I'm just gonna go for now. Not feeling the need to spread my bad mood.

Sure hope everyone else is doing great.
Hope to be back again soon. I sure did miss this.
Take care friends,
~AL~