Weigh day up-date: Nothing.
Zero lbs lost
Zero lbs gained
Stayed the same.....again!
Went to the gym again yesterday. Stayed twice as long as usual. Did twice as much as usual. Worked at least twice as hard as usual. So, what gives?? IDK. Certainly Not the scale.
Will be going back to the gym again this afternoon. Not sure why. It's not like its working for me or anything. But, like I have said, I have nothing better to do with my time right now, so why not.
Made a really good fresh fruit salad last night for dessert. Cut up strawberries, watermelon, fresh pineapple and grapes, and just mixed it all together. Had a small serving last night, and really enjoyed it very much. Will be having some again tonight before bed.
That's about all for now.
Hope everyone is having a good Monday.
Thanks for listening.
~AL~
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Going Through The Motions
Still in a fugly place right now. Not really sure what's going on. Still don't really care.
Still trying to "do the right thing", although I'm not sure why.
Been to the gym 4 times this week. Still doing seven miles between the bike (usually 3 miles) and the treadmill (usually try for 4 miles). Spent lots of time with the weight machines as well. Still trying to make friends with the elliptical (?) machine. Hasn't worked yet. Saw someone tumble off of it a while back, and get pretty messed up. Those things are big, and kinda scary to me right now, although I would like to grow a pair soon and just get on the damn thing!
Spent time at the pool several days this week as well. Usually turns into about two hours when ever I go. I just love being in the water, and the time just flies by. Do lots of laps, (no, I don't keep count) and then water aerobics. Maybe I will come back as a dolphin in my next life.
Still drinking lots of water, and eating smaller, healthier meals.
Like I said, I'm not sure why I am still doing all of this. It is Not working. I have peeked at the scale, and it's not looking good. Looks like it might stay the same again, or even a small gain (as of now). WTF!?!?!
So I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending to care, or go through the motions. I have only been doing it again this week because I have nothing better to do with my time right now. My life is boring and pathetic. In fact, I don't have much of a life at all. I have wanted to post more often, but I truly have Nothing to say. I don't go out to buy new furniture. My children are all grown up and out on their own. I don't go out to lunch, or shopping with my friends. I got nothin.
I guess I will just keep doing this till something better comes along. And hopefully it will.....
Looking forward to Mondays weigh-in. NOT!!
~AL~
Still trying to "do the right thing", although I'm not sure why.
Been to the gym 4 times this week. Still doing seven miles between the bike (usually 3 miles) and the treadmill (usually try for 4 miles). Spent lots of time with the weight machines as well. Still trying to make friends with the elliptical (?) machine. Hasn't worked yet. Saw someone tumble off of it a while back, and get pretty messed up. Those things are big, and kinda scary to me right now, although I would like to grow a pair soon and just get on the damn thing!
Spent time at the pool several days this week as well. Usually turns into about two hours when ever I go. I just love being in the water, and the time just flies by. Do lots of laps, (no, I don't keep count) and then water aerobics. Maybe I will come back as a dolphin in my next life.
Still drinking lots of water, and eating smaller, healthier meals.
Like I said, I'm not sure why I am still doing all of this. It is Not working. I have peeked at the scale, and it's not looking good. Looks like it might stay the same again, or even a small gain (as of now). WTF!?!?!
So I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending to care, or go through the motions. I have only been doing it again this week because I have nothing better to do with my time right now. My life is boring and pathetic. In fact, I don't have much of a life at all. I have wanted to post more often, but I truly have Nothing to say. I don't go out to buy new furniture. My children are all grown up and out on their own. I don't go out to lunch, or shopping with my friends. I got nothin.
I guess I will just keep doing this till something better comes along. And hopefully it will.....
Looking forward to Mondays weigh-in. NOT!!
~AL~
Monday, September 20, 2010
Feeling Tired ...Of EVERYTHING
Today was weigh day. I knew it was gonna come to this, and soon. The scale is not my friend today. No, it doesn't hate me, but we are not friends right now. No loss this week at all. :(
No gain, either. (which I am trying to tell myself is a good thing) Stayed the same.
Did I complain to much about only losing only one lb every week? Maybe. Was it just not enough for me? Could be. Now look what I got. A big fat Zero. Serve me right?? Justice?? Karma??
IDK!
I really am just not feeling this right now. Honestly, I haven't for a while. I do know that I need to be honest with myself, and admit that I am sooo tired of pretending to care. I just can't do it anymore.
The harder I try, the worse I feel. I am Not getting anywhere with this. Beginning to think it's not worth the effort. I do All the right things - everyday. And, no, I do not work out so much that I would be gaining muscle weight at this time. I already tried to use that as an excuse, but even I can't make that one fly. I force myself to drink nothing but water all day long, every day. I feel like a damn camel most of the time. I am truly beginning to hate water, but force myself to drink it anyway. Not to mention everything else I do on a daily basis. Nothing is working.
Am tired of pretending, and trying to fool myself, and anyone else, that I can do this. If I am offending anyone in any way, I'm sorry. I do this for myself, and I need to be completely honest for my own sake. This is really hard. And I'm not stupid. I knew it would be. Guess I'm just not as strong as I need to be, or have enough willpower to make this journey.
Very disappointed in myself, and Not liking myself very much right now.
Not sure how to fix this.
Not even sure I want to try.....
~AL~
No gain, either. (which I am trying to tell myself is a good thing) Stayed the same.
Did I complain to much about only losing only one lb every week? Maybe. Was it just not enough for me? Could be. Now look what I got. A big fat Zero. Serve me right?? Justice?? Karma??
IDK!
I really am just not feeling this right now. Honestly, I haven't for a while. I do know that I need to be honest with myself, and admit that I am sooo tired of pretending to care. I just can't do it anymore.
The harder I try, the worse I feel. I am Not getting anywhere with this. Beginning to think it's not worth the effort. I do All the right things - everyday. And, no, I do not work out so much that I would be gaining muscle weight at this time. I already tried to use that as an excuse, but even I can't make that one fly. I force myself to drink nothing but water all day long, every day. I feel like a damn camel most of the time. I am truly beginning to hate water, but force myself to drink it anyway. Not to mention everything else I do on a daily basis. Nothing is working.
Am tired of pretending, and trying to fool myself, and anyone else, that I can do this. If I am offending anyone in any way, I'm sorry. I do this for myself, and I need to be completely honest for my own sake. This is really hard. And I'm not stupid. I knew it would be. Guess I'm just not as strong as I need to be, or have enough willpower to make this journey.
Very disappointed in myself, and Not liking myself very much right now.
Not sure how to fix this.
Not even sure I want to try.....
~AL~
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Life Is A PRIZE!
Dear Friends,
Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just like any game has certain rules.
The first set of rules would be:
Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for the day.
The second set of rules:
The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, its over, the game is over!
It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?
Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love, right?
Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?
ACTUALLY This GAME Is REALITY!
Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can't seem to see it.
The MAGICAL BANK Is TIME!
Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.
Yesterday is forever gone.
Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time.....Without Warning!
So, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and Enjoy Life!
Here's wishing you a wonderfully beautiful day!
Start Spending!!
~AL~
Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules, just like any game has certain rules.
The first set of rules would be:
Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for the day.
The second set of rules:
The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, its over, the game is over!
It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?
Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love, right?
Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?
ACTUALLY This GAME Is REALITY!
Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can't seem to see it.
The MAGICAL BANK Is TIME!
Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.
Yesterday is forever gone.
Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time.....Without Warning!
So, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and Enjoy Life!
Here's wishing you a wonderfully beautiful day!
Start Spending!!
~AL~
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Not Sure What's Going On.....
I have been reading my regular blogs for the past several days, and I gotta say, I really don't know what the heck is going on out in blogland. There seems to be an awful lot of hatefulness going on. And I have to say: I Don't like it! People leaving nasty, hateful, disrespecting comments all over the place. Most of them hiding behind being anonymous. That really bugs me. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!! I guess maybe that's why I have been reluctant to post anything these last few days, but then I thought how lucky I am to only have a few people (that I know of) that follow me. And then I thought about how I do this for only myself, and I still need to do it, no matter who is out there. So, here I am.
Monday was weigh day again. And once again, one more pound gone! Up to 7 now. YAY!! Still kinda bummed about the slooow progress here. I am really an instant-gratification kinda person, and this is starting to Not work for me! It is getting extremely discouraging to work sooo hard at everything all week and keep seeing only one lb every week. Other than not eating at all, and working out ten hrs a day, I don't know what else to try. I know, I know. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. And all those other things. I really am trying to hang in there, but with this slow process, it sure isn't easy. Keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping next week will be better. I will Not give up! Failure is Not an option!!
Been super busy all week doing all kinds of crazy family stuff. Really hoping to find more time this week to get on here again. I really miss this when I don't get to do it. I need to make more time for this, because I Need to do this.
Have a healthy and happy rest of your week, friends!
:)
~AL~
Monday was weigh day again. And once again, one more pound gone! Up to 7 now. YAY!! Still kinda bummed about the slooow progress here. I am really an instant-gratification kinda person, and this is starting to Not work for me! It is getting extremely discouraging to work sooo hard at everything all week and keep seeing only one lb every week. Other than not eating at all, and working out ten hrs a day, I don't know what else to try. I know, I know. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. And all those other things. I really am trying to hang in there, but with this slow process, it sure isn't easy. Keeping my fingers crossed. Hoping next week will be better. I will Not give up! Failure is Not an option!!
Been super busy all week doing all kinds of crazy family stuff. Really hoping to find more time this week to get on here again. I really miss this when I don't get to do it. I need to make more time for this, because I Need to do this.
Have a healthy and happy rest of your week, friends!
:)
~AL~
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Slow And Steady
I didn't get a chance to post on Monday, weigh-day, but I did weigh. I lost one more pound this week. Pleased with that, but yet feel like it should be more. O k, maybe not 'should' be more, but just wishful thinking that it 'would' or 'could' be more. I know, I know...don't look a gift horse in the mouth, and all that other crap. Really, I am Very thankful that it went down again. And also Very thankful that it didn't go up at all, or even stay the same. Actually, for me, even this amount of progress is Amazing!! And, yes, I know...if I want more, I have to give more. Try harder.....Still a work in progress. Every day is a challenge, sometimes--no--most times it is an all out battle. But I am determined to win the battles, and eventually win the whole damn war!
I noticed the other day that I have another "follower". That's Awesome! I'm up to four now. I know it isn't anything compared to how many a lot of other bloggers have, and that's perfectly fine with me. I don't do this for attention or anything else, I do this for ME. And so far it seems to be working, so I will be doing everything in my power to keep on keepin on. And I do want to say "Welcome" to All of you. Thank you for taking the time to "follow" me. It so warms my heart to know that even a few people care, and are there for support. Thank you all sooo much.
In the last few days, I have noticed many people I know already starting to worry about the upcoming holiday season, now that Labor day has past. They are making 'plans' as to 'what and what not' to do as far as food and exercise to navigate their way through from Thanksgiving to the New Year without gaining any weight back. WOW!! REALLY?!?! I mean, c'mon now! Don't get me wrong here. I do realize that this posses a challenge for most of us, but it's only....what...a five or six week span of time?! SERIOUSLY!!! What about the other FORTY SIX weeks in the year?!?! Truly, I am more concerned with the time between New Years and Thanksgiving!! I pray everyday that I am able to at least get this whole thing somewhat under control by holiday time, so that I do as little damage as possible to myself, and my self esteem in those few short weeks. I know it is easy to say it now, but I would like to believe that even if I stumble during that time, I still will be able to repair any damage done. I plan to stay on tract through it all. I know it wont be easy, but hopefully I wont beat myself up after for any wrong doings during. I know I will just have to work that much harder in January. And that's o k. Bring it on! lol
Been losing a lot of sleep over this whole water thing. I have been managing to drink plenty, but it seems to be getting me up Several times during the night to 'dispose' of the water. Even when I drink the majority of it early in the day. What's up with that? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from drinking all the water I can. Water is my friend now, and I Won't give it up now. Not for anything. But still, a Little more sleep would be good. Gotta work on getting the two (water and sleep) to get along.
That's about all for now.
Have a super rest of your week, friends.
~AL~
I noticed the other day that I have another "follower". That's Awesome! I'm up to four now. I know it isn't anything compared to how many a lot of other bloggers have, and that's perfectly fine with me. I don't do this for attention or anything else, I do this for ME. And so far it seems to be working, so I will be doing everything in my power to keep on keepin on. And I do want to say "Welcome" to All of you. Thank you for taking the time to "follow" me. It so warms my heart to know that even a few people care, and are there for support. Thank you all sooo much.
In the last few days, I have noticed many people I know already starting to worry about the upcoming holiday season, now that Labor day has past. They are making 'plans' as to 'what and what not' to do as far as food and exercise to navigate their way through from Thanksgiving to the New Year without gaining any weight back. WOW!! REALLY?!?! I mean, c'mon now! Don't get me wrong here. I do realize that this posses a challenge for most of us, but it's only....what...a five or six week span of time?! SERIOUSLY!!! What about the other FORTY SIX weeks in the year?!?! Truly, I am more concerned with the time between New Years and Thanksgiving!! I pray everyday that I am able to at least get this whole thing somewhat under control by holiday time, so that I do as little damage as possible to myself, and my self esteem in those few short weeks. I know it is easy to say it now, but I would like to believe that even if I stumble during that time, I still will be able to repair any damage done. I plan to stay on tract through it all. I know it wont be easy, but hopefully I wont beat myself up after for any wrong doings during. I know I will just have to work that much harder in January. And that's o k. Bring it on! lol
Been losing a lot of sleep over this whole water thing. I have been managing to drink plenty, but it seems to be getting me up Several times during the night to 'dispose' of the water. Even when I drink the majority of it early in the day. What's up with that? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from drinking all the water I can. Water is my friend now, and I Won't give it up now. Not for anything. But still, a Little more sleep would be good. Gotta work on getting the two (water and sleep) to get along.
That's about all for now.
Have a super rest of your week, friends.
~AL~
Friday, September 3, 2010
Good Bye Summer. I'll Miss You.....
Wow, this week has just flown by. I can't believe it's already Friday.
I'm not really looking forward to this weekend. Labor Day weekend always makes me sad. It signals the end of summer. :( I live in northeast Wisconsin. Winters are Long & harsh here. We get such a short summer as it is, I just hate to see it go. The last two winters, we have set new record breaking snowfall amounts. It's crazy. In fact, I hate it here. Just sooo tired of all the snow and the bitter cold. I/we would love to move. Many factors are stopping us. First of all, now is not really an ideal time to try to sell a house. And we are not sure where we would want to move to. Also, I'm not sure I want to 'start over' at this point in my life.
But, then again, that might be just what I need right now. My life seems to be in such a rut right now. I feel so bored and restless, and so many other not good things. Mid-life crisis?? No, I don't think so. Just feeling very lost right now. Been trying to find myself. So far, it's not working. I don't even know where to look. I do know that seeing the scale going in the down direction is a great feeling. So glad that is on my side right now, cuz it's all I got.
I'd like to say that I'm just bummed because summer is gone, and winter is coming, but I'm pretty sure it's more then that. This has been on-going for a while now. But, thankfully this free therapy is helping. I am learning new things about myself. Hopefully I will be able to figure things out soon, before I drive myself totaly crazy. lol
Eating has gone pretty well the last few days. Drinking my water, even as we speek. Yay! I'm going to be trying extra hard to continue to do well thru the weekend. I Really want to do well on Monday--weigh day. (fingers are crossed)
Wishing everyone has a safe and happy weekend.
:)
Thanks for reading, friends.
~AL~
I'm not really looking forward to this weekend. Labor Day weekend always makes me sad. It signals the end of summer. :( I live in northeast Wisconsin. Winters are Long & harsh here. We get such a short summer as it is, I just hate to see it go. The last two winters, we have set new record breaking snowfall amounts. It's crazy. In fact, I hate it here. Just sooo tired of all the snow and the bitter cold. I/we would love to move. Many factors are stopping us. First of all, now is not really an ideal time to try to sell a house. And we are not sure where we would want to move to. Also, I'm not sure I want to 'start over' at this point in my life.
But, then again, that might be just what I need right now. My life seems to be in such a rut right now. I feel so bored and restless, and so many other not good things. Mid-life crisis?? No, I don't think so. Just feeling very lost right now. Been trying to find myself. So far, it's not working. I don't even know where to look. I do know that seeing the scale going in the down direction is a great feeling. So glad that is on my side right now, cuz it's all I got.
I'd like to say that I'm just bummed because summer is gone, and winter is coming, but I'm pretty sure it's more then that. This has been on-going for a while now. But, thankfully this free therapy is helping. I am learning new things about myself. Hopefully I will be able to figure things out soon, before I drive myself totaly crazy. lol
Eating has gone pretty well the last few days. Drinking my water, even as we speek. Yay! I'm going to be trying extra hard to continue to do well thru the weekend. I Really want to do well on Monday--weigh day. (fingers are crossed)
Wishing everyone has a safe and happy weekend.
:)
Thanks for reading, friends.
~AL~
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